Sunday Stealing: The Starrlight Meme

1. What was the last thing you put in your mouth?
a piece of apple pie from KFC

2. Where was your profile picture taken?
bathroom

3. Can you play Guitar Hero?
if i try hard enough and practice (we do own it)

4. Name someone who made you laugh today. What was it about?
my baby girl. she said "listen here" while we were all in the car and we thought about "Bacon is good for me!!"

5. How late did you stay up last night and why?
12:30 am...watching QVC and on Facebook (weekend!!)

6. If you could move somewhere else where would you and why?
a small town...more family/community feeling

7. Ever been kissed under fireworks?
yes...4th of July

8. Which of your friends lives closest to you?
Lechelle...a few blocks

9. Do you believe ex's can be friends? With benefits?
yes...no

10. Do you like Dr. Pepper?
yes

11. When was the last time you cried really hard? Really hard as opposed to just sniveling?
this summer...when we buried my mother

12. Who took your profile picture?
me!!!

13. Who was the last person you took a picture of?
the girls and Reggie

14. Was yesterday better than today? Why?
no...we went to church today and had family time

15. Can you live a day without TV?
yes, as long as I have a DVR waiting for me the next day

16. Are you upset about anything now?
yes

17. Do you think relationships are ever really worth it?
ALWAYS!!!

18. Are you a bad influence?
yes

19. Night out or night in?
Night out!!!

20. What items could you not go without during the day?
computer, a coke, DVR

21. Who was the last person you visited in the hospital?
my dad

22. What does the last text message in your inbox say?
don't text...don't have a cell phone (by choice)

23. How do you feel about your life right now?
like i am caged in a box and can't get out...

24. Do you hate anyone?
no

25. If we were to look in your Facebook inbox, what would we find?
lots of unread messages

26. Say you were given a drug test right now, would you pass?
yes

27. Has anyone ever called you perfect before?
yes

28. What song is stuck in your head?
Apple bottom jeans...

29. Someone knocks on your window at 2 a.m., whom do you want it to be?
if he is not beside me...my husband

30. Do you (or did you) want to have grandkids before you’re 50?
yes

31. Tell us your Saturday night.
dinner out with family, shopping, later catching up on some shows (DVR)

32. Do you think too much or too little?
too much

33. Do you smile a lot?
more than i did last year...a work still in progress...

Today was an interesting day...for some reason it was a day to remember my Mom. I seemed to see her in so many things in my life today and the result was a point where I was melancholy and it was hard to go on. Who knows maybe I need more days like this...i sometimes feel like I do not grieve. I do not cry. I do not remember. I just...exist. When it comes to my Mom I exist. Is this natural? Normal? Abnormal? Wrong? Right? I don't know. I have never done this before. I did not read a manual. And let me tell you for someone who strives to do everything perfect and must have order this is horrible!!! I feel like i should make a list and when i have done everything on it and mark it off i will be done with this grieving this. Is that not sick? Am i not sick to think this? I think so and I hate it. I hate not knowing how to process my mothers loss. I hate not knowing if i should scream. Cry. Hate. Go into a depression. Yell. I hate not know what to do. I want to grieve and I do not know how!!! Maybe i really don't want to? Maybe I am afraid of the openness I will have to have. The vulnerability. I remember when she left us I walked out of the room and into the bathroom down the hall. I remember standing in the dark and then bending over and screaming into my hands. A scream no one could hear. I remember standing there and feeling so many things and just as fast as they came I pushed them down. I knew there was family waiting and I knew i was needed. I remember taking a deep breath and walking out of the bathroom and back into her room. I remember. I have not gone back to that moment, those feelings, that pain. Instead I went through the motions to bury her and assist my family. Time is going by and I am moving with it...I am not grieving...I am existing when it comes to her. Time will tell how this pans out....they say time heals...i am hoping that is the case...

wow...where does the time go??? I am sooo horrible for neglecting my blog...i could give so many reasons why and they are all legitimate. I miss blogging and I have been thinking about it but I am not ready...I feel guilty...and I am not sure why??? This is something I need to look at and "marinate". Just know I am here but in thought only....

Sunday afternoon...i have a few minutes so i thought i would sit down and write...maybe an update...maybe not. I am amazed at how quickly time has passed since June 11, 2009. It is crazy...life continues to go on...

* I returned back to work....code red!!! *grin*
* I am trying to get my mothers home cleaned out and failing in every area (it is sooooo hard to go through her things...so hard).
* a pug puppy was left in our backyard and we had no idea why!!!
* I helped someone out and they have still not paid back the $500.00 they promised.
* My basement has a minor mishap and flooded
* Mid-years are due and we have a week to complete them!!
* We almost lost my father...he was in ICU for 2 days and a regular room for 2 more days (it was the same hospital my mom has passed away in 4 weeks earlier)
* My Aunt Dorthy passed away 1 week and 1 day after we buried my mother.
* The 4th of July and Fathers Day came and left without my mother.
* People are dieing all over the place...Michael Jackson, Farrah...
* Baby girl is still away from home and I worry that she did not have enough time at home to grieve for her Grandmother (she has never experience death this close to home and she was forced to leave is the day after we buried her Grandmother).
* I am still in denial...

*sigh* As you can see life still goes on and the sun still rises and sets everyday....

It has been a while since I last visited this blog. It is with deep sorrow I must say my Mother has passed away. She is with the Lord and for that I am so grateful however...my heart is sad and my soul is hurt. She went to be with the Lord on June 11nth. We laid her to rest last Wednesday and I truly believe she would have loved her funeral (the doves and my baby girls singing Amazing Grace would have made her so proud!!). It has been exhausting and at this point I am talking a few steps at a time (before this week it was only one step and that was every few hours). My family has been incredible and I love them more this week than 2 weeks ago. They are truly amazing! I am still raw so I believe I will end this with a beautiful piece of writing Boo did for her Grandmother (it was passed out at the funeral and I took this from her facebook entry)...

In Loving Memory

Monday, June 15, 2009 at 11:33pm

On Thursday my grandmother passed away in the hospital just four days after being diagnosed with cancer that had progressed to stage four. She died in her sleep, like she wanted, and didn't suffer, which was a blessing. We were very close and despite a relationship that was sometimes bumpy, I loved her more deeply than I can express. The service is taking place Wednesday morning and I wrote the obituary/biography to be handed out at the chapel. I'm sharing it here for anyone who would like to read it because I want the whole world to know about the woman my grandfather loves with all his heart, who raised my mom to be as strong as she is today, and who loved my sister and I from the day we were born until the day she died.


♥ ♥ ♥


On June 11th, 2009, the world lost a beloved wife, mother, sister, daughter, grandmother, aunt and friend in Linda Griego. She was preceded in death by her father, Guadalupe Ruiz, and four younger siblings: brothers Pete and Ferdie and sisters Mary and Bea. She is survived by her mother Maria Ruiz, her husband of thirty-nine years John B. Griego, her daughter Antoinette Marie (son-in-law Reggie Burgess), her sisters Virginia (brother-in-law Frank Herrera) and Suzie, and her brother Alex (sister-in-law Colleen Ruiz). She will be leaving behind two granddaughters, Bridgette and Genesis Burgess, goddaughter Jessica Agosta, her nieces Angela Montoya, Joline Lopez, Shannon Ortiz, Jamie Muniz and Amy Ruiz, and her nephews Frankie Montoya, Robert Montoya, Lloyd Herrera, and Phillip Herrera.

Linda was born in Denver, Colorado in 1948 on August 24th to Lupe and Maria Ruiz. The eldest of four girls and sister to four brothers, she was always a bright girl and a hard worker. Although she was something of a talker in school as a little girl, she was fairly quiet in general and grew up to be fairly studious. She enjoyed reading, got good grades, and counted Presidents Lincoln and Kennedy as two of her favorite people. She cooked often growing up but it was baking she fell in love with. When her siblings would pick cherries for her, she would use them to bake pies and that was just the beginning; later in life she turned to cake decorating as a hobby and excelled at it, providing delicious and beautiful cakes for numerous occasions (who can forget the delicious four layered chocolate confection whose recipe she guarded with her life?). She was a unique young woman who worked hard for most of her life to help provide for her family, who she loved very much and who remained a part of her life long after she left home. She took care of her sister Mary when she was sick, invited over many family members on holidays like Halloween for several years (and provided plenty of candy goodies for the kids and savory dishes for the grown-ups), and loved to spend time with her mother, who she admired and adored.

Despite an epic and passionate love for Elvis Presley, Linda's true love was her husband John (we know this because she let him take her on a date to look at pigs in a stinky stockyard). They met at a club called The Mambo and, after marrying each other on Christmas Eve in 1970, enjoyed thirty-nine years of marriage. They were an active couple who took many trips together and liked to spend times with their friends and family (she had fond memories of Echo Lake and endless games of Rook). They spent their holidays with Linda's family and, as they got older, devoted much of their time to their granddaughters. John spoiled his "Tootsie" (a nickname he gave her for her love of Tootsie Rolls) during all of their years together. Anyone who spent any time with Linda and John could see how much they adored each other, from their playful banter, to shared stories about mixed up song lyrics ("bowl o' chili", anyone?) and serenades, to their constant physical closeness and all of the time they spent together.

Linda also loved her family, especially her daughter, Antoinette. She worked hard to take care of her daughter for many years and always provided for her; Linda loved to dress Antoinette up and had her in the cutest clothes and hairstyles. She made her daughter's Halloween costumes and took countless pictures of her doing everything from celebrating birthdays to hopping on a bus to camp. For a woman who found as much joy in taking pictures as Linda did, one would be hard-pressed to find a subject she liked capturing more than her family.

Her granddaughters, Bridgette and Genesis, were two even greater joys in her life. She was blessed to be with her daughter when both of her granddaughters were born and spent every year from that day on supporting them in their many creative, athletic, and academic ventures, and loving them unconditionally. She was around from 3 v. 3 soccer games to high school junior varsity matches; from Mestizo dancing to ballet; from kindergarten graduation to high school graduation, and she was proud every step of the way.

Always creative and caring and up-to-date on the latest fashions and trends (she rocked the beehive hair-do, may or may not have had to fight someone off for a Tickle Me Elmo, dressed to the nines even at Disneyland, and welcomed her first granddaughter into the world wearing diamonds and heels), Linda was also resilient and had a bright smile that told anyone looking how much she loved life. She has left behind a hole that cannot be filled in the lives of her loved ones, but she has also left behind memories of a woman who was exciting, extraordinary, and deeply loved. She left this world in exactly the way she wanted: surrounded by those she loved most, peacefully sleeping.

Dearest Tootsie, Mom, Grandma, Sister, Auntie, and Friend, you will be missed and while we struggle to live a life without your physical presence in it, know that we will always love you and take comfort in knowing that you are dancing with the Lord (and this makes us happy because we know how much you loved to dance).

Last night we went to see Boo in her recital (Dance Boulevard). Once again she was AWESOME!!! She had a real busy scheduled this year so to have her keep up with dance on top of that was great!! She was only in 2 dances because of her schedule but she was faithful and it showed! Hunny bunny and I cheered the loudest and longest when her group was up there (there is no way anyone will ever out cheer me when it comes to my babies...teeehehehehe).
As she was dancing I was thinking about how long both of my babies have been dancing! Wow!! They have always loved music so I would say they have been dancing since they could walk!!! Boo started ballet when she was 3 and Gigi started Mexican dancing when she was 4 so they have been dancing most of their lives and I can see how much they love it when they are on stage. Gigi has been away this year and she is performing. When I see the pictures I can see the joy in her. Both my girls love dancing and I am glad for that. I was thinking that when they are 80 I will get no less thrill from watching them dance. I love it!! They bring me joy when they are dancing!! And I hope they will be dancing when they are 80!!! One thing I have taught them...do what you love and never give it up....Passion!!!! That is one of the keys to a happy life...living your passions, and I see passion when they dance!!! *sigh* I am blessed to have 2 daughters who bring me so much joy!!!

I follow another blog and I love the way she makes list and if you know me I love lists!! I feel I am at my best when I have list to "guide" me...and who does not love highlighting when something is completed??? So I though I would make a few lists!! teeeehehehehe

5 things I love about my life right now...

1/ the puppies "ruling" the house. They have brought so much joy into the house (as well as some "stress"...but one look into their eyes and you forget the that).
2/ my work hours...they give me more time with the family and more time to do things (that is another story).
3/ God...He brings so much joy into my life and blesses me beyond what I deserve.
4/ Couple's Night...I enjoy planning these events with hunny bunny and Boo. It is such a fun and crazy time for all of us (I will not mention the stress but...)
5/ my outlook on my health and what I should be doing to change some things (more water, walking more...)

4 things I am wanting to accomplish this weekend...

1/ take the puppies baths (aaauuughhhh).
2/ cut puppies nails.....(triple auuuggghhhhh).
3/ see Boo dance at her recital.
4/ take the in-laws to dinner

3 things I love about being a MOM...

1/ That feeling I get whenever I think about them (happy and thankful and content...)
2/ Knowing I have raised 2 incredible, intelligent and loving individuals.
3/ The knowledge that my hunny bunny and I were allowed to come together and be a part of the creation on these wonderful people.

2 Things I hope to loose this week...

1/ my moody attitude (yes, i am in a mood and i am not sure why???)
2/ at least 2 pounds!!! (i am serious!!)

1 word that describes my life right now...

1/ Transition (i really do feel like i am in transition and i am not sure when it will be done...)

#127

Thursday, June 4, 2009

#127

And...here we go!

1. There is no place like home.

2. My favorite thing for dinner lately has been anything with meat.

3. Mr. Snuggles and Ripley are puppies who go... bark! bark! bark!

4. A nice long walk is what I hope to be doing next week during the mornings.

5. I could use some good news.

6. When all is said and done, it is what it is.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to getting out of this moody feeling, tomorrow my plans include Boo's recital and Sunday, I want to take the in-laws out to dinner to say thank you for fixing the car!

Sunday Blessings (a little late...)

* twilight....i love that time of the day.

* sunshine!!! when you can feel the warmth of it on your face...delicious!

* a slushy maker that does not slush!!! teeehehehehe...

* hearing my daughter laugh on the phone hundreds of miles away...

* Chinese food!!! yummy!!!

* teaching hunny bunny how to work facebook and seeing his excitement when he hooked up with an friend from high school.

* being able to lead Couple's Night (and doing silly skits with hunny bunny!!)

#126



And...here we go!

1. It's cold and slushy and good (hint: we were not able to make them at couple's night last night).

2. I love cottage cheese and tomatoes.

3. My favorite health and beauty product is chocolate (it makes me feel good so that has to count for something...right?).

4. Next month we are planning a road trip which will include a nice long ride.

5. Well, first of all I am still not convinced Obama looks like the President.

6. Jumpy people; those were the cast of characters in a recent dream and it was a very hectic and "fast" dream.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to a long hot bath, tomorrow my plans include Chinese food and Monday, I want to get some laundry done.

REMEMBERING...

this weekend I have been remembering my loved ones. The special things about them. The things that made them unique and special in my life. I am truly blessed to have had them in my life and I believe they have impacted me and helped to make me the person I am today. I love them and today I am remembering them...
a special thank you to my Uncle Alex who fought for our country and was able to return to us after the Vietnam War. He taught me what courage and sacrifice was. He is alive and I remember his love of country and home. He is an incredible man!!!

Sunday Blessings...

* the rain...it makes things grow and washes away dirt...

* family get togethers....love my family

* feelings...they may not always be good but if I pay attention I can grow and learn...

* Memorial Day...a day to remember those who have fought for our country...

* My Aunt Mary, Uncle Pete, Aunt Bea and Grandma G..... they were a blessing to me while they were here....

* cell phones...i was able to speak with baby girl yesterday...*sigh* miss her....

* August....baby girl graduates and comes home!!!!

125

125

And...here we go!

1. Moving to a huge home with a huge yard and a wrap around porch is something I dream about.

2. Only when you are in Jesus are you free.

3. My best quality is my ability to make others laugh, even when they are feeling low.

4. I am sooooo about the small and the huge details.

5. In nearly 10 years, I hope to be a grandmother (teeehehehehe...hint...hint).

6. A three week vacation to focus on me and mine is what I need right now!

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to dinner and looking for a jersey for Mister, tomorrow my plans include work and 2 grad parties and Sunday, I want to rest!

Sunday's Blessings

* my husband...good days, bad days and those "want to do over days" he is mine and I am blessed!!!

* education...it is a privilege and blessing to live in a country where education is allowed and encouraged.

* His love!!

* the desire to praise HIM!!

* photo's ...they help us to remember moments in life

* family...they are the binding of who I am

* walking the dogs...it is a nice time to be outside enjoying the spring weather!!

124

124

This week, I chose quotes having to do with spring...as always when I do this, feel free to fill-in whatever you'd like; it's more fun that way! Of course, if you know the quote, feel free to fill that in, too! The quotes will be on my blog, should anyone want to see what they are.

And...here we go!

1. If we had no winter i would never get to catch snowflakes on my tongue.

2. Life is a perpetual astonishment.

3. If I had my life to live over I would not frown so much when i was younger (I am sooo hating the frown lines right now!!).

4. I am trying to figure out what the following is attached to.... inside of four and twenty hours.

5. If you've never been thrilled by a quick 7 floor drop you don't know what you have been missing.

6. To be interested in the changing seasons is to enjoy life to the fullest.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to catching up on some DVR programs, tomorrow my plans include 2 graduation parties and a church event and Sunday, I want to relax but have another graduation party to attend.