i have been thinking about life changes lately for myself...no not those changes that we have no control over...i have had my share of those this year and an still dealing with those. No, I am speaking about those things i can control...and as i have been thinking about that i am discovering some things about myself...interesting things, things that have stopped me in my tracks, things that i want to walk away from but feel i need to look at. i must confess, this life changing thing has taken me to a new place. i know i am here for a reason but i am not sure what to do. i know i need to make some changes and i know in the end it will be for the good but boy, oh boy...i am really just starting to realize...I DO NOT LIKE CHANGE!!!! ok...why would that be a shock...i am a traditional person who will have the same breakfast every morning and do the same thing every night if i allowed myself to. Yes, that same person is shocked at how much i do not like change...but more so i do not think i like the fact that i could be a change agent...me!!! I believe I am at that place in life when I need to become my own CHANGE AGENT. I need to make changes. I need to take those steps to change things in my life that are not healthy for me. I need to do this...not my hunny bunny, my girls or even God...ME...MYSELF...I!!! And guess what...it scares me crazy to see that let alone believe it. I know what I need to do but I don't want to be the one to do it...interesting!!! I need to "marinate" on this and see what becomes of it...

wow!!! it has been a while!!! so much going on and plan to update soon.... major changes!!! *sighy* My baby girl left for Vegas today!! on her own!!!! AUUUGHHHH!!!! well...i promise I will update sometime soon.....

I did it!!! I did it!! I went to have my hair cut and AAAAAAUUUUUUGGGGGHHHHHH!!! I HATE IT!!!!!!! I went in and asked for it to be shoulder length and AAAAAAAAUUUUUGGGGHHHHHH!!!!! She cute it chin length!!!!!! I am sooooooo upset. My family likes it (but you know family...they love you and well...they love you!!). *sighy* I am about change and I am wanting change and I am trying to be proactive but WOW!!! Change is not suppose to be bad is it???? I am worried it will not grow back as fast as I want, but I guess the one good thing about this is it will grow back!!! *sighy* The funny thing about this is tonight I spent time going through magazines and when I was shopping I was looking at hair! and guess what???!!!??? Everyone has long hair!!! Everyone except me!!!! (tears!!) Well...I will give myself permission to be depressed for a few days and then I will get on with life...


Regrets.....hmmmmmmm ask me in a few weeks!!! teeeehehehe


As for today...I went shopping (both online and at my local store!). I had lots of fun and QVC had a great TSV and lots of fun new stuff!!! I know I splurged but I kept it to a minimum and I will not be purchasing anything else until May from QVC, by then I will have paid off my purchases from today (see I am thinking before I spend...change...teeehehehehe).

It is amazing how this new year has already CONFIRMED CHANGE for me in 2008 and just recently it has SHOWN me CHANGE in 2008. In showing me the change it also let me know that the changes that will happen this year will not only happen within me but it will also happen around me. I had a major change occur yesterday that stopped me in my tracks. They were shocking and sad. I cried. And the sad thing the change occurred at work! And I cried at work (of all places!). The good thing is I was ok with that, I was ok with showing my emotions in public (something I normally do not do!!!), I was ok...with being ME!!!! In that I see change, and change is good! (*sighy...David I sure will miss you...)

it is the start of a new week. 2 more weeks of training. tommorrow we have a test so i am going to have to do some studying (yucko!!). i will confess i am liking all the new (and old) stuff i am learning. i was hesitant at first but not i am glad that they decided to put us all through this intense training. GOOD TIMES!! when i am done with this i need to really look into some more classes (i often forget how much i love learning!!)

sunday...it was a good day and i was able to "OWN" it. We as a family went to church together and i feel so blessed that we went. I was so amazed as i sat there listening to my pastor. he started to speak about change in 2008!!! Wow!! i could not believe it... the one word that i wanted to focus on this year and he was speaking about it in the spiritual realm! INCREDIBLE. I really feel this is the LORD speaking to me and confirming that i need to change this year. i do believe the change is within me and i am the only one who can do this. if i do not change than the change will not occur, it will not happen. It is up to me and only me!!

Change...
I know this is the month of change and with only 8 into this month I do not feel like I am changing. I know one can say it is only 8 days, give it time...but...if not now when??? Is change something that happens overnight? Is it something that is a process? Well, for me it is something that should happen NOW!! not tomorrow, not next week, not next year...NOW!!!
I know...I need to back off and let things happen. Be open to change. Be willing to change. I know change is a process and it takes so much time. When I look back at major changes that have occurred in my life I know they took time. In fact in almost every case the change occurred when I was not looking. It happened when I least expected it. Those changes were the ones that have "stuck", they have been "real" and yes...life changing.
I want those kind of changes in 2008. *sighy* well...i guess i need to be patient and believe the changes will happen. I also need to keep going forward (have you ever notices how easy it is to want to stop or change roads when something is not going as you want it to?) on my 2008 journey. Go forward and keep working at the changes I want to happen. Go forward and see what the next turn hold for me.

"If we don't change direction soon, we'll end up where we are going" ...Professor Irwin Corey

2008 changes....ok, i know they are usually referred to as RESOLUTIONS, however, I tend to be excited about resolutions for a month or so and then i am not. Well...i think this is going to be another year that will revolve around change so....i am going to dedicate myself to CHANGES!!! Things i want to make different, areas that need improvement, traveling roads that have not been traveled...things like that!!! So here they go (they are not in any particular order...)...


* Creativity....I so want to learn some new things this year (jewelry, book binding, conquer knitting, card making, gardening, cooking). I want to "expand" my creative world in 2008! I would love to do 1 new thing every month!!!

* ME!!!!...I know this sounds funny but I really need to spend time on me! I have noticed in 2007 that I have let myself go. I no longer have nails, I don't wear make-up, I have not done anything to my hair in months and I rarely "dress-up" anymore. I also want to focus on things that will make me feel better about myself (this is foreign to me since I always put my family first). I think my family and friends will benefit from this as much as I will!!!

* HEALTH...I need to focus on my health. One of the first things will be getting a physical (yucko!!). I also need to work on my weight and get it down (it will help my knee and me!!!). Drinking more water, walking more, eating healthier are things I would like to do more of in 2008.

* FAMILY and FRIENDS...I want to do more things with my family this year. Send cards, visit, email and have them over. I have isolated myself and this year I would like to change that!! Family is so important and I want to enjoy the family and friends I have been blessed with!!

* SPIRITUAL...Wow!! This is going to be a hard area to change. I am going to need God to assist me in this area. I know I need to grow in my faith and become more involved in our church.

* CELEBRATE...I want to celebrate life and 2008! There is so much to celebrate and I want to do this!!! Holidays, birthdays and LIFE!!!

* PAY IT FORWARD...I feel like there is so much good in my life and I want to be able to pass that on to others. I want to make others feel good and loved! I would also like to see about volunteering in 2008 (I have been wanting to do this for years so who knows...).

* SCRAPBOOKING...I would like to complete 208 pages this year, 10 projects and 6 "incomplete" projects. I want to spend more time scrapbooking and catching up on some older projects (that would be great!!). I also want to do more challenges this year (they really do challenge me and help me complete pages!!).

* ORGANIZATION...I know, one of the weak weak points in my life! There is so much of my life and home that would benefit if I became more organized! I want to work on this and have a "monthly project". If I succeed I will have organized 12 "things" this year!!! WOW!!

* FINANCIAL...I am doing it!! I am going to go on a financial diet!!! I am paying off all my credit cards and then I am going to start saving and watching my money. We are planning two trips this year and i would love to purchase a new TV and living room set (2009)! Paying cash for all of these things will be my goal!!! I feel I am ready to start saving and am excited about this one! I know it will be hard because I am putting myself on a budget (Uuuuuugggghhhhhhh!!!). So wish me success!!!

* Marriage...I want to focus on my marriage this year. I think I take it for granted and everyone knows that is never good for any relationship! I want to nurture it and hopefully watch it grow in 2008. I have some ideas and am looking forward to bringing them to reality.

...so these are the areas I want to work on in 2008! I am going to be busy and I think it is going to be a fun and challenging year!!