Monday, November 16, 2009

i have been thinking about life changes lately for myself...no not those changes that we have no control over...i have had my share of those this year and an still dealing with those. No, I am speaking about those things i can control...and as i have been thinking about that i am discovering some things about myself...interesting things, things that have stopped me in my tracks, things that i want to walk away from but feel i need to look at. i must confess, this life changing thing has taken me to a new place. i know i am here for a reason but i am not sure what to do. i know i need to make some changes and i know in the end it will be for the good but boy, oh boy...i am really just starting to realize...I DO NOT LIKE CHANGE!!!! ok...why would that be a shock...i am a traditional person who will have the same breakfast every morning and do the same thing every night if i allowed myself to. Yes, that same person is shocked at how much i do not like change...but more so i do not think i like the fact that i could be a change agent...me!!! I believe I am at that place in life when I need to become my own CHANGE AGENT. I need to make changes. I need to take those steps to change things in my life that are not healthy for me. I need to do this...not my hunny bunny, my girls or even God...ME...MYSELF...I!!! And guess what...it scares me crazy to see that let alone believe it. I know what I need to do but I don't want to be the one to do it...interesting!!! I need to "marinate" on this and see what becomes of it...

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