I was listening to a radio station last night and they were speaking about marriage and what every woman should know before marriage (***I feel men should know these things also). I thought they were great things and one of them took me over 10 years to realize! Let me tell you once I realized it I (and my husband) were way happier!!!

1/ Make sure you have things in common. Sounds simple, right? Well...you both liking hamburgers and going to movies is not what they were speaking about (don't get me wrong, those are good things to have in common...food and entertainment) however, they were speaking about some "deeper" things. How about...politics, religious beliefs, and family values. I think things like travel, sports, books, music, how you want to spend your weekends should also have a little commonality to them. I mean, what if you want to travel the world and he did his traveling with his family and wants to stay home? This can cause a "bump" in your journey. The reason they were saying having things in common is important is because these things will help you through those "dry" spells in your relationship. Those times when you don"t have anything to say, you feel like there is a huge gap in the relationship, you can't stand the air he breathes (ohhh, you have never felt that way...lucky you!!). Those are the times when you can go grab a hamburger and watch the latest Star Wars movie (because you both LOVE Star Wars and have since the start). Those are the times you can look at each other and talk about the latest candidates running for President (O.K....so you will only speak once every four years...it is a start!!! smile). Yes, when you look across the table and think you don't have nothing to say, those are the times you can pull from those "common" things you shared and start a conversation! Yep, commonality's will help you in the years to come is you have them.


2/ You CANNOT change him!!! Wow!!! This is something i hope every person can understand and hold onto when they enter the "deeper" part of their relationship. This is vital to a marriage. VITAL!!! If you cannot accept him as he is you need to back up and look deep into yourself. Why can't you accept him for who he is? Why do you want to change him? I think if you look real deep you are going to find this issues are not with him but with you. We need to be able to look at our spouse and understand they are who they are and if they change it will be them wanting the change not us wanting it for them. We need to be o.k. with the fact he will always be tardy and will procrastinate on everything! I tell you, this is soooooo hard to do! Especially for those perfectionist out there. I think it is so important to understand and accept this before you get married. If you don't you will spend many frustrated years together and lot's of time will be wasted. Yes...you cannot change anyone and the sooner you realize that the happier you (and they) will be!